The Black Hole

My leg feels better this morning! And miraculously I am not hung over from last night. (Uh, Jean, I totally meant to email you but then I fell asleep. :/ )

So I just made the MOST DELICIOUS OMELETTE EVER.

Here's how you do it:

Fry some bacon and set the bacon aside. (This is the traditional start of every southern recipe ever.)

Into the bacon fat put chopped up leftover french fries and onion straws (like onion rings, only not rings) from last night's meal.

Fry until crispy!

Add two beaten eggs. Cook. Flip! Sprinkle with cheese and then cook some more.

Consider briefly photographing it for your blog before being so enticed by the omelette that you go NOM NOM NOM instead. With bacon.

The recipes tag on this post is very much in airquotes. "Recipes".

Title: Boggart
Author: alisanne
Pairing: Neville Longbottom/Surprise!
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Warnings: Silliness, AU
Beta: sevfan
Challenge: Written for neville100's prompt #96: Boggart
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: First time with this pairing, be gentle. ;)

( Boggart )

Love the new behind-the-scenes HBP pics!

Naturally, ( it's caption time )

R came over this evening. I give you your nightly quote:

R: Oh, so, you gotta see these shoes I bought from this guy.
Sam: Fancy shoes?
R: So fancy.
Sam: Wait, who is 'this guy'? Like, a guy at a department store? Or, ahahaha, some guy on the street?
R: YOU LAUGH BUT HE SOLD ME SOME GREAT SHOES.
Sam: You bought shoes from a random dude on the street?
R: And they are the finest footwear I have ever acquired. So, it was two in the morning, right --
Sam: You bought shoes from a random dude on a street at two in the morning.
R: HE WAS A SHOE-SHINE!

Apparently they're really nice shoes.

LOOK AT MY NEW JOURNAL HEADER ARTWORK! JUST LOOK AT IT! IT WAS DONE BY THE INCOMPARABLE MASTEROFMERCURY AND IT IS THE MOST AWESOMEST THING EVER EVER EVER! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO USE IT AND TONIGHT I ASKED IF I COULD AND SHE SAID YES AND I AM HAPPY CONCEPT, HAPPY, HAPPY CONCEPT!

It is so awesome, in fact, that when she gave me permission to use it I promptly flailed and knocked over my tequila--three times.

I'm so happy it's not even funny. It's even better than seeing a house I liked. For serious. That says something about my priorities, but what the hell. It's so pretty it could even go with For a Reasonable Fee or Comes at a Cost.

This is the happiest day EVAR.

Now go read Naughty Girl. It's the teeny ficlet I did a few years ago for this pic. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Title: Too Good to Hide
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Word Count: 100
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None that I am aware of.
A/N: Written for centaury_squill, who correctly guessed which fic I wrote for the snarry_ldws. Her request was Snarry, prompt: Kilt.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Too Good to Hide

Title: Too Good to Hide
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Word Count: 100
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None that I am aware of.
A/N: Written for centaury_squill, who correctly guessed which fic I wrote for the snarry_ldws. Her request was Snarry, prompt: Kilt.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Too Good to Hide )

Oh, sorry; that ... that was all I had.

Happy Birthday today to

mom2enk!

and



phoenixsong71!

Many happy returns! ♥

Title: Protective Heart
Author: lilyseyes
Characters: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Challenge: severus_sighs: canon!Severus – the one that lives in my (and Harry's) heart
Rating: PG
Length: 338
Warnings: *AU, EWE, Mpreg, and fluff*
Summary: Severus is protective of those he cares for.
Disclaimer: JKR owns the Potterverse – I just play in it. No money is made from these amateur works.
Beta: The wonderful the_minx_17 ~ Thanks, darling!

Protective Heart

---

Title: Sweet Kisses
Rating : NC-17
Author: lilyseyes
Word Count: 100
For:angela_snape who guessed which fall_fantasia story I'd written! The word prompt was 'bond' ~
Warnings: * Implied forced-bonding*
Disclaimer: JKR owns the Potterverse – I just play in it. No money is made from these amateur works.
Summary: The morning after At Last, A Kiss.
Thanks to alisanne for the once over! *smishes you*

Sweet Kisses

---

Title: Malfoy Mistletoe
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Severus Snape/Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Summary: A Malfoy always has a plan.
Word Count: 520
Genre: Humor, romance
Warnings: Potential threesome.
A/N: Written for for, who correctly guessed which snarry_ldws story was mine. Her request was for Lumione, prompt: Mistletoe.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Malfoy Mistletoe

Title: Malfoy Mistletoe
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Severus Snape/Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Summary: A Malfoy always has a plan.
Word Count: 520
Genre: Humor, romance
Warnings: Potential threesome.
A/N: Written for for, who correctly guessed which snarry_ldws story was mine. Her request was for Lumione, prompt: Mistletoe.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Malfoy Mistletoe )

Either my flex spending account thinks I'm trying to rip them off, or they're trying to rip me off.

Maybe they think no one person can sustain this much injury in a year. It's baffling sometimes, truly.

For those of you outside the States -- health insurance, which I pay for every month, pays 80% of all my doctor bills. I have to pay the other 20%. To make up the difference, my company offers a "flex card" which is a credit card where a fixed amount is taken out of your paycheck pre-taxes and put on the card to pay for medical expenses. You tell them yearly how much money you want on the card, and they take a little each month to make up that amount, even though you get all that money on the card immediately.

Yes. Welcome to the reason we long for socialised medicine.

Anyway, I carry $600 on my flex spending account, which I've been using to pay for medical treatment for a broken leg, chiropractic adjustments, a sinus infection, and various over-the-counter painkillers and band-aids and such.

Every month, now, my flex card kicks a letter out to me saying JUSTIFY YOUR EXPENDITURES, SEND US RECIEPTS. It's not supposed to do this; the only time this is supposed to happen is if it's something hinkey, like you bought a Nintendo on your flex account or something.

Instead, my letter has WHAT ABOUT THIS BILL FROM NORTHWESTERN MEDICAL CENTER printed on the request. What the fuck do they think I'm buying at a MEDICAL CENTER if not MEDICAL TREATMENT? Prostitutes? Can I get those at a hospital? Maybe they think my theraputic massages for the left arm I CAN'T MOVE have a happy ending or something.

Relatedly, I decided to go for a walk today and now I can't put any weight on my left leg. I've had it elevated and I'm applying ice on and off, but if it's still nonfunctional tomorrow it's back to the Immediate Care centre for me tomorrow.

Argh.

Title Rug Burns
Word Count 100
Rating R
A/N written for alisanne, who correctly guessed my entry into fall_fantasia

Rug Burns

I barely feel like rehashing this one, but it did have some lovely moments, and I would feel weird not doing a reax post. SO. MY THOUGHTS ARE THESE (um, upon reading them over, they may or may not make sense):

( spoilers were sure they had TWO drumsticks )

In today's "Activism: Ur Doin It Wrong" department, we have accusations that slurs against pagan rituals are racist. Set aside, for the moment, that said slurs don't actually exist. That... give some insight into the mind of the commenter, but isn't, in fact, relevant.

What's relevant is that she thinks Wicca's being insulted, and she's "calling" the supposed insulter on her "racism." (In a community about public transportation. So, um, more than rather severely off-topic all around.)

I don't have an icon that's halfway between "facepalm" and "headdesk." (And I don't want one; that would mean I expect to find *more* stuff like this to post about. Which I'd really rather not.)

Oh, and the comment threads hit Godwin's law, ablism, classism and childfreekiness. And NEVAR AGAIN TEH BURNING TIEMS! A glory of fucktupitude all around.

(I got this from dot_pagan_snark, and it's been on stupid_free, so apologies to people who already know about it. Sharin' the pain, folks; sharin' the pain.)

This entry is crossposted at http://elf.dreamwidth.org/283818.html. You can comment there with OpenID from your LJ or IJ account. Comments so far:

Hi, my name's elf, and I have a reading problem.

When most people say "reading problem," they mean "the letters look blurry to me" or "I've been assigned more pages than human eyeballs can absorb this weekend" or "ack, my comprehension of Russian is too low for me to get the right concepts out of this physics paper." It almost never means "I think I've been neglecting other parts of my life for reading."

Because reading isn't considered a dangerous addiction. It has no physical side-effects. It doesn't make the mind slow or incompetent. At no point, in the throes of reading, is one incapable of driving or performing surgery, should one's skills go in those directions. (Well, save for the "must put book down" part. However, after that immediate shift in awareness, one's reflexes and attention are both available to whatever tasks might be at hand.)

And it's not expensive. Nobody sells off his car and formal clothes to get books. Nobody hocks her wedding jewelry. Books--really good books--are available everywhere at prices ranging from "cheap" to "free." And the internet hasn't made that any less true. Entertaining content, informative & educational content, useful, delightful, important content, is free by the terabyte.

And oooh, I want to read it ALL.

( I read a lot. I could read a lot more. )

We are starting this years InsaneJournal holiday sale. From now until the end of the day Friday, November 27 we are going to be holding a sale on Self-Committed[paid] accounts and Extra Userpics.

The prices are be as follows

Self-Committed[paid]
1 Month -> $5
6 Month -> $15 $10
12 Month -> $25 $18

Extra Userpicx
6 Month -> $10 $5
12 Month -> $20 $15

Then on Friday November 27th from 8am until 4pm (Eastern US time) we will be running a very special sale on Permanently Insane accounts.